I have an uncle Danny.  He’s hard-working, reliable and as practical as can be.   But please note that Danny is not a family nickname.  Nope, that’s on his birth certificate - and his driver’s license, insurance cards, bank account and deed to his house.  Danny conjures up a freckle-faced five year old, but my uncle has just celebrated his 50th birthday.  His name is more than four decades out of step.

And so I declare this the first of the Seven Deadly Sins:  choosing a name without imagining that your child might someday want to be a brain surgeon, an investment banker, or hey, just an adult.

How can you avoid this grievous error?

There are a few general rules of thumb:

1. If there is a formal version of your child’s name, use it.  This means that Kristi is Kristina; Allie is Allison, Alexandra or Allegra.  And Danny is, for the love, Daniel!
2. With a very few exceptions, don’t end your child’s given name in “i” or “ee.”  Naomi and Noemi are elegant choices despite their “i” ending.  A few other names - Heidi, for one, and some African imports like Imani - also are correctly spelled with an “i” ending.  But Maci, Calli, Destyni, Lori, Kari, Molli?  Those are cutesy-coo choices for kids who are still writing their name in crayon.  Ditto Bailee, Rylee, Kaylee, Marlee, Landree and Alee.
3. Imagine your child turning out to be the strong, serious type.  My friend Kathleen insists that parents inevitably produce children who are very, very different from themselves.  She’s right - my son is, by some quirk of fate, athletic.  So while you dislike your formal name, Mary Louise, and wish that your parents had just put your nickname, Lulu, on your birth certificate, bear in mind that your child might be less of a creative free spirit and more of, well, a stockbroker.  Call her what you like at home, but give her a fallback for the wider world.
4. Remember that birth certificates are written in permanent ink; nicknames in pencil.  Gracie was the 103rd most common given name used in 2006.  If you’re thinking short-term, it might strike you that Gracie is a valid alternative to more popular Grace (#17 in 2006).  Trouble is that while Grace gets to choose - she can exude the cool sophistication of Miss Kelly or opt for the downhome style of Gracie - Gracie has no such luxury.  Can she insist on dropping the “ie” as an adult?  Sort of.  But it’s always going to follow her on official documents, and, given the tyranny of databases, that’s no small thing.

As parents, sometimes we get it exactly right.  Your Juli is a curious, upbeat type who works in PR and loves her ends-in-i name?  That’s fantastic.  But we’re choosing names for people we have NEVER met.  It’s a tricky proposition.

One of the worst things we can do as parents is forget that our children will likely outlive us, and will carry the names we choose far longer than almost any gift we give them.

Make it one that will endure, long after your child is a grown-up.